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~click on a point
to learn more about each type~
Point Two - The Helper
Twos are a feeling-based
type with a focus on relationship. They excel at making connections
and empathizing with the needs and feelings of other people.
They are usually good at supporting others and helping bring
out their potential. However, turning their attention toward
themselves and knowing what they themselves need is much more
difficult. They want to be accepted and liked by others, and
they will adapt or change themselves to earn this approval. A
bit like emotional sponges, Twos have to be very careful what
they absorb from the people around them. Getting angry or setting
personal boundaries can be very hard to do, although they may
have emotional outbursts to relieve the pressure. While being
a special person or earning the approval of others has its advantages,
it doesn't substitute for being loved for oneself.
Strengths: Caring, popular, communicator.
Problems: privileged, naive, dependent.
Speaking style: being nice and sympathetic, giving advice.
Sometimes militant for the cause.
Lower emotional habit: Pride about being special, important,
or indispensable in relationship. Or poor self esteem when approval
is not forthcoming.
Higher emotion: Humility, which is being able to know
and hold onto the experience of self-worth without either self-inflation
or excessive judgment.
Psychological defenses: Twos use the defense mechanism
of repression to avoid their own needs and feelings and to maintain
a self image of being "helpful." (Repression is putting
one's unacceptable feelings out of awareness and converting them
into a more acceptable form of emotional energy).
Somatic patterns: As feeling types, Twos experience a
buildup of energy, and sometimes tension, around their chest
and diaphragm. Although full of energy in their upper bodies,
it may be hard for them to sense their lower bodies and stay
calm. They tend to discharge their anxiety thru talking and emoting.
It's easy for them to "somatize" or convert hidden
feelings into physical symptoms.
Famous people: Bill Cosby, Ellen Burstyn, Sally Struthers,
Melanie Griffith, Alan Alda, Harry Belafonte, Sally Jesse Raphael,
Molly Ringwald, Mia Farrow · Nancy Reagan, T. Berry Brazelton,
Desmond Tutu, Imelda Marcos, Arianna Huffington · Florence
Nightingale, Pamela Harrington, Virginia Satir, Leo Buscaglia.
Tips for relating to
Twos:
To create rapport: Step forward to make contact; give
approval or appreciation.
Try to avoid: Hurting their feelings by being too critical
or not taking them seriously.
Join them: In valuing warmth, personal contact and partnership.
To handle conflict: Ask them to take responsibility for
getting what they want rather than indirectly blaming others
or evoking guilt. Head off outbursts by bringing out their dissatisfaction
or resentment.
To support their growth: Help them pay attention to their
own needs and feelings and to set boundaries with other people;
encourage them to take time out for themselves; remind them to
breathe into their belly and feel their feet on the ground.
Copyright ©2004 Peter
O'Hanrahan
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